Panda Tails!

Happy New Year!

I know, I know.

I’ve been gone far too long.

Life has been really great lately and for some reason, I haven’t felt all that creative.

But i’m here and I must say the familiar sensation of my fingers flying across keys is very alluring and welcoming.

So it is with much hope for future creativity I present to you all…….

Panda Tails

(hehe tails=tales, get it? )

(*insert corny giggles and me nudging you with my elbow like an overexcited panda who just dropped a very very corny joke.)

(A poem of what has been going on in my pandarific life)

A Panda I am (I explain for the noobs)

A very girly Panda indeed.

Hugging and laughing I deeply enjoy.

Though hugging too tight hurts my boobs.

I really love glitter.

I love drawing hearts.

Feels and giggles abound.

Life has been getting sweeter of late,

So please if you’ll gather around;

I’ll tell you the tails of why hope fills me so,

and why its my pleasure to say.

I am lately much more Pandarific,

but of course there are still bad days.

Its a struggle to feel like a burden,

as a big fluffy Panda can be.

When someone else pays for your everything,

its hard to feel the glee.

Still, a Panda with purpose I have become.

A dream, I didn’t know that I had.

Helping others as a career,

is so Panderific its almost mad.

I feel, as a Panda, that i’m really close.

To getting my shit all in one place.

As long as I keep pushing forward,

and tests I continue to ace.

Schooling is almost over,

I am almost certified.

To be a Panda helper.

Feels like the best thing I’ve ever tried.

Also another big thing in my story.

I am now more Pandarific because,

I’m no longer tied to the zookeeper,

Legally and all that fuzz.

A legally free Panda.

How Pandarific is that?!

Having my fathers last name as my own,

feels everything but flat.

My little fox and I are well.

Closer than ever we are.

My heart is full to bursting,

with love from near and afar.

Long distance hasn’t been that bad.

We have lots of Skype/Netflix dates;

watching Office and kicking his butt in Words,

naughty messages to keep us up late.

My Little Bird always tweets.

Except when he comes home on holiday

and sings from between my sheets.

Oh the music we make,

If you only could hear,

But i’ll keep this pg-13.

He’s not the only one singing.

His skills are quite pristine.

Enough about that though.

His sister won’t enjoy,

this part of the story i’m sure.

I’ll hear all the “gross” and throw-up sounds

even though I know she loves the allure.

Of me being possibly family one day.

I never expected to love again.

And yes, that is a cliche.

But i’m just a girly, corny panda.

What else can I say?

I’ll end my story on a high note.

I’m surprised

how beautiful life can be.

Its anything but perfect….

it can be a mess just like me.

So i’ll be a hopeful messy panda

in this whirlwind of a life.

Knowing its better to push forward with hope,

than to give in to the darkness of night.

So Panda readers I hope you enjoyed my tail.

This is anything but the end.

Its all very Pandarific.

Thank you for reading, my friends.


They’re Heavy

Something bad is coming

I could not tell you what

For the only reasoning I have

Is the pit inside my gut

It pull me down and drowns me

In my anxiousness and fear

Tell my brain to just relax

But its simply not as easy

When my thoughts race by so fast

They leave me almost queasy.

So ill close my eyes and try to breathe

through the peak of my unrest.

Close my eyes and ignore the feeling

Of rocks upon my chest.

I wrote this a while ago during a panic attack. At the time I decided not to post it. However, It came unto me from my drafts and I decided why not share. Maybe it will help someone, if only to let them know they’re not alone when they feel this way.

It does end. It does pass.

Close your eyes.









Ramble ramble ramble

Oh to blog out my  thoughts in a poem of sorts.

Hide people with animals, feelings with symbolism.

To complete strangers who wouldnt know or understand the meaning.

Sadly most of the people who read my blog

Are friends, or the subject of such blog posts.

So ill keep those thoughts for my diary.

And instead post a blog of rambling nonsense.

Yeah…lets do that.


I’ll never understand why you hate yourself so much.

Maybe I don’t know you well enough yet to see..

Why are you so determined to self-destruct?

If you only knew

How much you mean to everyone around you

Maybe you would get your shit together

But I doubt it.


I get that i’m not perfect.

My shit is far from all in one place.

No one is perfect.


I’m honest.

I’m kind.

I trust.

I really care about my “friends.”

Playing on my kind heart there are you?

It’s not a fucking instrument douche.

Hope you had fun because the symphony of your lies is over.

I set the sheet music on fire and pissed on the ashes.

You’re just a ticking bomb I was trying to diffuse.

I’m done.

I refuse to be the match that sets you off.

So fuck you.

Selfish Bastard.