Within the Hour (Project: Chain Reaction #4)

chain reaction; my post

I clutched the arm rest of my chair as we soared through the air; more out of shock and unknowing than fear. We climbed upward at a steady speed; the foreboding gray clouds falling away behind us. Well, mostly gray. The craft seemed almost guided by the one pink beam of sunlight, or what I thought was sunlight, that was bursting through the dreary skyline. I gaped openly as the shoreline fell away far beneath us. Never one for heights I closed my eyes thinking back to the first time mother took me there as a young child. The smell of the ocean. Her smile as I ran to and fro collecting shells and splashing.

“Holy Shit.” I could not help but whisper as I opened my eyes. I looked from one edge of the screen to the next. Blackness as far as I could see, stars punctuating it like a beautifully written story. I was so awestruck and overwhelmed I had not noticed the room had emptied.

“It is beautiful isn’t it?” my fathers husky voice asked, breaking through my silent reverie.

I tried to think of a response…an answer of some sort; but all I had were questions. He must have recognized this as he stood and clapped a burly hand on my shoulder. “Come. there is much to discuss”

I stood, expecting to feel heavy, nauseous, some type of bodily reaction to the journey we had so quickly made. It struck me then, that there was none. Nothing. There had been no vibrations. No movie-esq shaking of the vessel or even strapping in of us passengers. How did we get here so smoothly and so quickly? My musings were interrupted by a soft sweet voice.

“Will there be anything else, Captain?”

I turned to see the same girl who had addressed my father, before take off . She had moved in such a demure fashion, I had not noticed she had crossed the room, and was standing rather close to us now. She was, as I have already said, quite attractive. She dressed in similar fashion as the others. A tasteful black knee length dress with the same royal blue stripe down both sides. I could not help but notice her hair, which was the color of sunsets, the most natural auburn I had ever seen. A pair of black glasses perched on her nose framed the most beautiful blue eyes. Beneath them, just the faintest tickle of freckles. Her lips, which were smiling, were the loveliest shade of light pink, as if their natural color was derived from soft petals. Her lips parted in a more pronounced smile, at the same time her checks turned just slightly pink, and I realized I was staring. She looked down shyly and something caught my eye, a glint of something shiny on the collar of her dress. I smiled at her as I realized it was a tiny black and white Panda pin. She was, in a word, adorable.

“Mia I’d like you to meet my son Rene. Rene this is Mia. She is my right hand girl. Anything you need while on this ship, Mia’s your girl.”

“Its lovely to meet you Rene. I’ve heard so much about you.” she said with a smile as she reached out her hand to shake mine.

“I wish I could say the same about you but my father isn’t much of a talker” I said, unable to hide the discord I still harbored for my father from my voice.  I reached out and shook her hand gently, letting my hand linger too long on hers and causing her to blush again.

“Well then I’ll leave you to it, Captain. I’m off to make my rounds”, she said with a small nod, obviously embarrassed.

“She’s cute, right?” my father elbowed me. Perhaps trying to ease some tension between us. I said nothing of Mia but instead offered him a question.

“Captain huh? ” I said with an aggravated edge to my voice. The distraction from Mia replacing my awe and wonder with my original distrust and anger. He nodded for me to follow him and we started down a series of halls. Each one like the next. White walls with the same royal blue stripe. Passers by nodding and addressing him with short almost obligatory “Captain.”‘s.

After what seemed like an endless amount of turns, hallways all the same white and blue, he stopped and placed his hand on the wall next to a door, not unlike the one I’d seen before. A green light emitted around his hand as his palm was scanned .

“Come one in” he said as he walked in. I walked in behind him and was blinded by the difference in lighting. While the hallways had been brightly lit, this room was dim with only a few monitors on one wall and a screen much smaller than the one in the first room, but still sizable enough to take up most of one wall. He sat and motioned for me to do the same in one of three leather bound crimson chairs that made an almost complete circle. Obviously some type of conference room.

“I think I’ll stand if its just the same to you” I said to him nervously.

“I know I’ve got a lot of explaining to do son….But trust me….”

“Trust you?!” I asked incredulously.

“I don’t even know you! My entire life you’ve been absent. Now here you are and we’re in…in…..where the fuck are we even?!”  I realized I was almost yelling and didn’t care.

“I understand your anger. It is a just anger. I hope, I can help you understand why I’m reaching out to you now. To start with we are just outside of the gravitational field of Pluto, headed for a top secret space station just outside of our galaxy. I know it sounds insane and impossible but I can assure you, it will makes sense once we arrive, within the hour.”

Challenge Image



Hey Everybody!

Project Chain reaction is a lovely project I was asked to participate in by some of my lovely  friends who also blog! You can find all the details about the Project here on J’s page! I’m also attaching links to the previous 3 installments if you want to read the entire thing..also if you just wanna check out their stuff. They’re all absolutely amazing writers so you won’t be sorry you did.

Part 1: You’ve Got Mail written by the lovely J (artistic and beautiful?! She has a really beautiful soul that shines through her writings. Go. Be Inspired.)

Part 2: Mysterious Message written by the dashing Cameron (pssstt-he’s Scottish and does audio recording of some of his writing…..can you say accent?!!!! seriously though he writes really beautiful things. Go. Be touched.)

Part 3: Up, Up, Up written by my dear friend Eric (a.k.a frozen poultry master. He has a really unique writing style that is mysterious and really really good. Go. Be Swept Away.)

ALSO….big credit due to Cam for the inspiration for the Challenge Photo with his post Does She Actually Like Flowers? This is seriously one of my favorite posts he has done and you should all go read…or listen..to it. It is beautiful and captures the moment of new interest and overthinking perfectly.

ALSO ALSO….I must brag a bit. One of the goals of this project was to try to enrapture the 1000 words a photo is said to speak….go ahead and do a work check. My chapter is EXACTLY 1000 words 😀





Misadventures of the education seeking Panda!

I sit upon the leather chair.

Pondering things that led me there.

Perhaps excitement was to blame?

To pursue a goal and to everyone proclaim…

That I would chase my dreams once again.

I shut my car door and looked down with a cringe.

My keys…oh my precious.

Not there on my neck.

Not in my pocket.

Oh no let me check….


There they are.

Right there on my seat.

The lanyard is grinning from metaphorical cheek to cheek.

I went about my business thinking help would arrive.

Only to be done and be left stranded outside.

I rushed to the car thinking of the door that doesn’t quite shut….

Only to fall up the stairs in my rush.

I feel the blood stinging on my knees and my toe.

My finger and forearm….concrete is quite the Foe.

After talking and thinking, I called for my mommy.

I decided i’d wait in my favorite of lobbies.

I get lost in the library with books all around me.

Being back on a campus fills me with glee.

In the school I hope to attend in the spring.

I think of what the future will bring.

Its a wonderful place to waste time quite indeed.

I just hope on the lovely green carpet I don’t bleed.




You cant see

I sit here waiting as time goes by.
I hate when people stare.
They think there’s nothing wrong with me.
“Why is she even here?”
Oh please assume Im here for fun.
Hospitals are oh so grand!
Im not bleeding.
Im not limping.
I sit with me phone in hand.
“What could be wrong with the girl on her phone? “
They whisper thinking I can’t  hear.
What you couldn’t know is Im on my phone because Im filled with fear.
Needles and cutting and scraping.
Id rather be anywhere but here.
What you cant see is it hurts.
My blue jeans are causing me pain.
You can’t see inside Im crying because Im here again.
You cant see the frustration because no doctor can tell me why.
You don’t see the scars from previous visits Im always trying to hide.
My body has betrayed me.
Days before it was supposed to be perfect.
Now instead of confident and sexy….
Ill think I don’t deserve it.
Now a fresh scar in progress will serve to keep me distant.
From the man who says Im beautiful nomatter how I twist it.
Im scared and Im alone and I fucking hate my  body.
So please don’t judge me while I try not to cry
in this freezing hospital lobby.

Just a thought…..(R)

If its on the tip of my tongue…

It means its not deep enough.

I don’t like being unable to finish a sentence….

So make me choke on my words?

A little pain only increases the pleasure baby…

So cum on.

Show me what I’ve been missing?

My tongue can be the runway…

To the star of the show.

Everything I see of a Phallic nature

Sets my mind ablaze with desire for you.

I might as well be blindfolded…

Perhaps even handcuffed?

Make me yours as no one else has…

I take you deeper than ever before.

Hair amiss.

Our eyes lock.


You. Are. Ambrosial.


Cotton Candy Memories

Pink and Blue isn’t just for babies.

Its the color of childhood.

The color of maybes.

Maybe ill be a kid forever!

Maybe ill ride the Ferris wheel!

Maybe daddy will ride with me!

Oh, how simple it used to feel.

When my biggest decision was which ride to ride…

at the local county fair.

And we’d go watch shows together…

before you were stuck in a chair.

I’m whisked away to a time…

when I didn’t have the addiction.

To bleed away my worries

because I couldn’t fix them.

Before the darkness set in.

 The struggle that came with it.

When loving life was easier.

Now everything is so different.

Before you got sick and left.

Before my heart was shattered.

Before he became the voice in my head,

that tells me I don’t matter.

When you were the only man I needed.

My hero.

And my friend.

Childhood was so beautiful,

before it had to……….

The last bite goes down bittersweet.

I wipe my face with my sleeve.

As long as I have these memories,

Its like my childhood didn’t leave.

So i’ll eat my cotton candy icecream.

Be your little girl at the fair.

Before the world stole her.

And filled her with despair.

Drown Together

Stranded in the ocean of complication….

Knowing what a life with me could mean…


Better yet why?

Would you hold me close when I’m trying to save you?

You will drown if you stay here don’t you see?

I’m just trying to live my agony.

And not take you down on this sinking ship.

I love you enough to set you free.

Yet still you choose to be with me?

If that is your choice…I’ll have to respect it.

Though i’m not sure why i’ve not yet been rejected.

His voice in my head.

The demon I can’t see.

Tells me you’ll change and wish you were free.


Fuck him and all.

I’m done second guessing.

Done trying to save you from me cuz its messy.

As long as you’re in it.

I’ll stay that way too.

We’ll just drown together.

Build the coffin for two.