So. Much.

This longing overtakes me.

To say the words I feel so deeply.

Would surely be the end of sanity.

For I’d never know if the reply was meant,

or just a form of sympathy.

So here I wait.

Words on my lips.

Waiting for you to kiss them into existence.

With words from your own.

Dollhouse

The doll searches the dollhouse.

Trying to escape her reality.

The knowing that she is just someone’s toy to be played with.

She knew a doll is only useful for play, and she was quickly growing tired of this game.

She ran down one hallway, towards an open door….

Only to have it slammed in her face by the invisible force she’d come to know so well.

She heard the familiar sound of another door opening somewhere in the house.

She turned around to see it was the door at the other end of the hall.

She took one step and immediately the door started to close.

She sat down with a hard thump.

She knew it would just close if she ran for it.

For whatever reason she was meant to stay here.

“Stop it!”

She screamed out loud..to seemingly no one in particular.

Moments passed, maybe longer.

She just couldn’t take her eyes off the door.

It was still open.

Maybe this was it.

Her chance to escape.

She stood and stared down the hallway.

She took a deep breath and ran as fast as she could.

She inched closer at a pace that seemed to take forever.

Her lungs were burning and she could hear her heart in her ears.

This was it.

She wouldn’t stop now.

She pushed so hard. So fast.

Almost there…

BANG!

Suddenly she was on the floor.

The door had closed again and she had run right into it.

“No!”

She screamed as she wiped her bleeding nose as tears stung her eyes.

“NO!!!!”

She stood and grabbed the doorknob and pulled at it hopelessly.

“Please…please God just let me out! I don’t deserve this! I just need one chance to get out! Why?! How can you keep me here trapped with no way out?! Have you no compassion?!  Don’t you care?! Ill die here!”

She stood at this door. Screaming at the top of her lungs. Pounding her fist into the door for longer than she dared admit. She screamed all this, and much more, for years it seemed; just hoping someone, somewhere would answer.

Finally,

She collapsed to the floor and sobbed.

It was at this moment a thin piece of paper slipped under the door.

She couldn’t believe it.

The first contact in as long as she could remember.

She picked it up, hands shaking.

Her eyes quickly scanned the words.

“You put yourself here. I didn’t just drop you here out of the blue remember? When the time is right, when you are really ready….You’ll find a way out. For now, hold tight. “

“Hold Tight?”

“I put myself here?!”

She said in a sarcastic tone.

How dare they.

She started to rip the paper into shreds when suddenly, like a scene from a movie, she remembered.

She did put herself here.

One excuse at a time.

She took a deep breath and wiped her face.

She would escape.

Like the note said, when the time was right.

“Okay.” She said with a sigh.

“I’ll wait.”

She bent over to pick up the shreds of paper from the floor when something caught her attention in her peripheral vision.

She looked over lazily, expecting to see another door to attempt.

Her green eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat.

There in the wall, for the first time ever….

was an open window.

An Apple a Day….thanks to J

So. I have this friend. Lets just call her J. Through no fault of her own really, honestly shes just being herself, she has radically changed something for me. See my dear friend, has become recently vegetarian and is seriously considering veganism (is that a word?) Now, fear not! She is not a bad vegetarian. Not the kind to shove her ideas down my throat or to make a scene when I enjoy meat around her. If I ask she is happy to discuss, and therefore…I am hereby proclaiming, to try. See…I love meat. So much. But lately, I’ve been sick. Very often.  Due to my friends encouragement, I’ve really taken the time to think about what I’ve been putting into my body. And honestly, a lot of that..is crap. I don’t eat much lately because when I do eat I feel worse. But the other day something magical happened. I was actually hungry. Instead of eating fast food…I stopped by the local produce market and got two red apples. Let me tell you…my body was so happy. Not only was it delicious, but I felt…good! I’ve been eating more fruit and I honestly feel better. More energy and just good. So. New plan is…lots of fruits and vegetables. I will still eat and enjoy meat…But maybe just for one meal a day. I think i’m finally done with fast food. Now J, I know you’ll see this. I need support because you know how much I love fast food. Dig me up some horrible documentary on awful fast food practices and we shall watch it together and hopefully that will keep me away haha. Id also love and much appreciate any tips from my fellow bloggers! I love you dear friend for being you and making me want to be a healthier me!

Desire

Home alone.

I want you.

Your eyes on me.

Your lips.

Every bit of you.

Come over honey..

Lay me down with the ease of your voice.

Drape me in the arms of tender wonder of firsts.

Seduce me.

Let my voice be the only sound as it screams out…

James.

Stung!

In bed I was with Stomache bug until a thing just struck me!

Oh pains of pains upon my ass I thought a bee had stung me!

I leapt from bed and laughed out loud for there upon my bed….

The earring I did not remove  from the ear upon my head.