Tears fall upon my pillows.
Evidence of a rejection I was unprepared for.
I read over the sum of your letter.
My eyes land on the x.
The big X that marks where all hope ended.
I am loosing it.
I just want it to end.
All of it.
If only death were simple.
I would welcome it with open arms.
Like a friend whose silent embrace I had missed.
I pick up my phone and look down at your picture.
I know I have to keep trying for you.
I will not surrender you over to a life or wondering why.
The struggle to find what I gave away is so hard.
A consequence of loving myself enough to say no more.
A choice I do not regret that lead to a struggle I keep fighting.
And oh my.
I am so tired.