Pause for me?

I’m falling in love…..with the pauses inbetween….what you want to say…..

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It shouldn’t be this hard.

Tears fall upon my pillows.

Evidence of a rejection I was unprepared for.

I read over the  sum of your letter.

My eyes land on the x.

The big X that marks where all hope ended.

I am loosing it.

Hope.

Faith.

Everything.

I just want it to end.

All of it.

If only death were simple.

I would welcome it with open arms.

Like a friend whose silent embrace I had missed.

I pick up my phone and look down at your picture.

I know I have to keep trying for you.

I will not surrender you over to a life or wondering why.

Still…..

The struggle to find what I gave away is so hard.

A consequence of loving myself enough to say no more.

A choice I do not regret that lead to a struggle I keep fighting.

And oh my.

I am so tired.

Just A Thought

Sometimes life is like drinking a slushy.

Falling in love is like drinking one on a hot summer day.

When you first start to drink it,  its delicious.

You enjoy the sugar and chill it brings.

You may even wonder, where has this flavor been all my life?!

Heartbreak is like a brain freeze.

It hurts like nothing else in this world.

You think the pain will never end.

Tears sting your eyes.

Your head hurts.

You just pray it will end soon.

Slowly, it does.

The pain eases little by little.

You realize its over with a sigh of relief.

Vowing to never enjoy the slushy of love so hastily ever again.

But then….

“Hey is that cherry flavored?!”